No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
