Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
