ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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