Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
