Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

we have officially lost it.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face

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(602): View more from Arizona

When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.

(1-270): View more from Kentucky

You should've just screamed yes we can!

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(702): View more from Nevada

Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam

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(206): View more from Washington

Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small

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(909): View more from California

I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?

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