did you get engaged???
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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