she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
