found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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