No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
my penis made a compromise with my morals
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
