she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
