That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"