Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?

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  (413): I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old? http://tfl.nu/y7lt
  Replies (4) Good night (1106) Bad night (575)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men

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  (804): Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men http://tfl.nu/7ncn
  Replies (39) Good night (1325) Bad night (2628)
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  (516): View more from New York

  There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.

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  (516): There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office. http://tfl.nu/aczu
  Replies (16) Good night (3833) Bad night (710)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation

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  (941): He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation http://tfl.nu/2ie5
  Replies (35) Good night (894) Bad night (4678)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.

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  (937): so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had. http://tfl.nu/vdqf
  Replies (8) Good night (1795) Bad night (4722)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.

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  (301): i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk. http://tfl.nu/vlxs
  Replies (11) Good night (4070) Bad night (1746)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.

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  (864): I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened. http://tfl.nu/5edl
  Replies (4) Good night (2692) Bad night (1239)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.

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  (541): Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening. http://tfl.nu/zy8e
  Replies (26) Good night (1395) Bad night (8264)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet

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  (814): you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet http://tfl.nu/l7er
  Replies (7) Good night (1728) Bad night (1080)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.

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  (703): From russia with love. But also with chlamydia. http://tfl.nu/1l8f
  Replies (5) Good night (738) Bad night (2287)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.

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  (215): the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul. http://tfl.nu/vout
  Replies (11) Good night (1929) Bad night (911)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.

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  (720): I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony. http://tfl.nu/wqpi
  Replies (15) Good night (2630) Bad night (1167)
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  (661): View more from California

  Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.

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  (661): Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre. http://tfl.nu/eizk
  Replies (4) Good night (812) Bad night (628)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people

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  (425): Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people http://tfl.nu/m00z
  Replies (8) Good night (956) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.

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  (240): I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab. http://tfl.nu/swde
  Replies (3) Good night (318) Bad night (226)

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