He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
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do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
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All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.