Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.

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(608): i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross. http://tfl.nu/qmd2

Replies (19) Good night (709) Bad night (2969)
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(240): View more from Maryland

Banned from zoo.

(301): View more from Maryland

Again?

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(240): Banned from zoo. (301): Again? http://tfl.nu/bv0w

Replies (44) Good night (17524) Bad night (1349)
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(914): View more from New York

last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.

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(914): last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever. http://tfl.nu/26l9

Replies (23) Good night (7308) Bad night (945)
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(909): View more from California

i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.

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(909): i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar. http://tfl.nu/5kvp

Replies (9) Good night (7604) Bad night (1081)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.

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(847): Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex. http://tfl.nu/aztc

Replies (90) Good night (13773) Bad night (1797)
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(720): View more from Colorado

You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.

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(720): You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset. http://tfl.nu/s72o

Replies (7) Good night (4037) Bad night (1123)
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(845): View more from New York

I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?

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(845): I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right? http://tfl.nu/k79j

Replies (2) Good night (3251) Bad night (1335)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...

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(617): And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not... http://tfl.nu/7o3n

Replies (13) Good night (1102) Bad night (3685)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning

(519): View more from Ontario

Omg I think I'm in the wrong class

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(519): I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning (519): Omg I think I'm in the wrong class http://tfl.nu/znqx

Replies (11) Good night (4025) Bad night (795)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.

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(503): I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs. http://tfl.nu/skdm

Replies (6) Good night (729) Bad night (1594)
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(909): View more from California

Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.

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(909): Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS. http://tfl.nu/zdw2

Replies (7) Good night (549) Bad night (2050)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?

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(701): Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub? http://tfl.nu/kxla

Replies (6) Good night (1014) Bad night (671)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually

(1-781): View more from Massachusetts

Don't remember, didn't happen

(781): View more from Massachusetts

I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED

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(781): I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually (1-781): Don't remember, didn't happen (781): I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED http://tfl.nu/of5j

Replies (1) Good night (753) Bad night (349)
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(206): View more from Washington

I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.

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(206): I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it. http://tfl.nu/xy4s

Replies (4) Good night (1370) Bad night (344)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament

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(508): dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament http://tfl.nu/tmjc

Replies (2) Good night (634) Bad night (110)

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