If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
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How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
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Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.