Texts From Last Night

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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life

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  (604): omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life http://tfl.nu/up0q
  Replies (10) Good night (3212) Bad night (710)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.

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  (812): Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was. http://tfl.nu/nuhx
  Replies (28) Good night (8638) Bad night (738)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks

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  (248): My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks http://tfl.nu/rdtc
  Replies (50) Good night (7085) Bad night (1106)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.

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  (508): I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave. http://tfl.nu/zhay
  Replies (6) Good night (1339) Bad night (3724)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.

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  (828): Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy. http://tfl.nu/roru
  Replies (15) Good night (5882) Bad night (1387)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.

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  (410): she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love. http://tfl.nu/0ws2
  Replies (22) Good night (1197) Bad night (5678)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.

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  (419): I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done. http://tfl.nu/5j5b
  Replies (6) Good night (1178) Bad night (740)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.

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  (732): My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally. http://tfl.nu/1mf9
  Replies (3) Good night (965) Bad night (482)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...

  (303): View more from Colorado

  God works in mysterious ways my friend.

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  (720): Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday... (303): God works in mysterious ways my friend. http://tfl.nu/qprf
  Replies (6) Good night (1465) Bad night (476)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.

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  (970): He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER. http://tfl.nu/32pn
  Replies (2) Good night (297) Bad night (562)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  IM WEARING A FLAG

  (1-613): View more from Ontario

  So that's a no to the clothes then

  (613): View more from Ontario

  FLAG

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  (613): IM WEARING A FLAG (1-613): So that's a no to the clothes then (613): FLAG http://tfl.nu/ee8g
  Replies (6) Good night (885) Bad night (304)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.

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  (402): Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen. http://tfl.nu/czwa
  Replies (4) Good night (305) Bad night (836)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?

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  (+44): HELP! How do I get paint off the dog? http://tfl.nu/myj5
  Replies (6) Good night (265) Bad night (393)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him

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  (402): I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him http://tfl.nu/5l9m
  Replies (5) Good night (694) Bad night (168)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag

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  (318): He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag http://tfl.nu/afmg
  Replies (1) Good night (302) Bad night (207)

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