Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me

(1-630): View more from Illinois

It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous

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(678): View more from Georgia

Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids

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(216): View more from Ohio

Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know

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(860): View more from Connecticut

So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(519): View more from Ontario

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.

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(757): View more from Virginia

We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking

(920): View more from Wisconsin

All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo

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(574): View more from Indiana

I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.

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