Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description. http://tfl.nu/30ew
  Replies (13) Good night (625) Bad night (2518)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  only in oregon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking (1-541): only in oregon http://tfl.nu/1bea
  Replies (156) Good night (7595) Bad night (1093)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy <3's balls" is written in sharpie across my forehead http://tfl.nu/cffy
  Replies (24) Good night (1649) Bad night (4657)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season http://tfl.nu/ewwq
  Replies (37) Good night (1843) Bad night (9406)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt http://tfl.nu/0h7j
  Replies (8) Good night (1097) Bad night (2868)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved http://tfl.nu/or7i
  Replies (5) Good night (1984) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod. http://tfl.nu/pyaj
  Replies (9) Good night (1889) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital." http://tfl.nu/3xux
  Replies (7) Good night (4452) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (857): You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar". http://tfl.nu/eikz
  Replies (2) Good night (1321) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train... http://tfl.nu/vvir
  Replies (2) Good night (882) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  How can a condom be "half used"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face (763): How can a condom be "half used"? http://tfl.nu/3d85
  Replies (13) Good night (1431) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW! http://tfl.nu/6dh9
  Replies (5) Good night (994) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes. http://tfl.nu/bp5y
  Replies (0) Good night (435) Bad night (267)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU http://tfl.nu/vr1a
  Replies (11) Good night (577) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it. http://tfl.nu/8dj0
  Replies (7) Good night (1058) Bad night (255)

Randomize