Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize