Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
