party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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