You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
