her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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