So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
