I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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