you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize