We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
