dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
