JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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