Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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