Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
