The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
