really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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