big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
