this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
