Duck Duck Cougar?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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