R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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