No stitches, just platelets and will power
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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