Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
