You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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