she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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