Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I know her cup size but not her name....
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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