also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
