You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
