I forgot how hot balto sounded
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
