She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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