I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
