you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
