You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
