One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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