so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
