I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
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just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
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Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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