My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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