someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize