I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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