I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
