Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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