I hate your face
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
