Don't you send me to vm
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
honey bunches of taint.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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