This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
