dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize