WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
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I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
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I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize