I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
How does it feel to date your dad?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
