he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
