also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
